My grandfather on my dad's side passed away just over a year ago. He developed Alzheimer's in his later years. Grandpa ended up dying of cancer, but it was the Alzheimer's that caused him the worst problems and was the hardest to watch, for his family.
At first, with the onset of Alzheimer's, you would just notice little things. We would find him repeating the same stories over and over again. Looking back, we felt pretty bad, because we would sometimes joke about hearing the same old thing again. Once we realized it was the Alzheimer's causing this, and not just a fixation on the past, we quickly realized this was no joking matter.
Sometimes we would go out for lunch with our grandparents. They were always busy, going here and there and everywhere. And our grandfather was always the chauffeur. It got pretty scary though, when he'd be driving through rush hour traffic on Long Island, New York, and suddenly ask where we were and where we were going. Grandpa had just suddenly draw a blank! It quickly became obvious that the Alzheimer's was here to stay and we some difficulty, my grandmother took over driving, although she hadn't done it in years.
Near the end, my grandparents moved in with my parents in a cute little in-law suite. It was just in time. My grandfather got sick very quickly and the Alzheimer's strengthened its grip on his mind. Pretty soon, the only people he would recognize were my grandmother and my parents. He didn't know who any of the rest of us were. He'd be holding one of my kids on his lap with absolutely no memory of the child's name or what relation they were to him. It was really sad.
But then, he'd suddenly have moments of clarity. Every once in a while he would have a good day, and be so engaging and lively. But then he'd slump back into his old ways, and his Alzheimer's would get even worse.
One of the most difficult things about caring for him, was getting him to bathe. My dad would get angry with him because he would actually start to smell bad. Finally, my parents got a nurse to come to the house every day to deal with him, because the problem was too much for family. Things really went downhill from there. It turned out that his cancer had worsened, and he stopped eating. And within weeks he passed away.
Seeing a family member who was once active and vibrant and alive, slip away with Alzheimer's is a horrible experience for everyone. Our grandmother was very strong through the whole ordeal and always managed to keep a cheerful outlook and a positive attitude. That's the best approach and I give her a lot of credit for being so loyal and being such a good caregiver during those difficult years. I miss my Grandpa very much and I try hard to remember him before the Alzheimer's took over.
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